Welcome!

How can you keep your children sexually safe and healthy?

How can you give them accurate, age-appropriate information about sex that will protect them from predators and help them to live healthy, loving, satisfying lives?

I wrote The Sex-Wise Parent because I want parents to feel empowered with knowledge and facts. There's a lot you can do—from preschool years through young adulthood.

I hope you'll buy the book.

And I hope you'll come back to this site frequently for news and tips about sexual health and safety. We also welcome and address the questions faced by educators, policy, and law enforcement professionals committed to these concerns.

You'll also find updates about my appearances and workshops with parents and professionals across America discussing my book, The Sex Wise Parent. You can order a copy of the book online.

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Aug
1
2012

Kids, books and sex: Thoughts for a sex-wise parent!

I remember the first time I was swept away by a book. I was reading Gone with the Wind as a young teen, and noon became dinner time in what seemed like 5 minutes. I still recall my delight at finally understanding why people said that reading could be magic; I felt like a grown up secret had been revealed to me when I experienced the sense of being transported through time and by developing […]

Jul
17
2012

Penn State may not be the exception when it comes to sexual culture and climate

As the shock of the contents of the Freeh report settles in, this is a good time to remember that no single school has cornered the market  on being a risk to the sexual health and safety of students.    A  report  published  by the U.S. Department of Education says that various studies show that as many as 5 percent of kids report a sexual contact with a school employee sometime during their school experience.  I’ve […]

Jul
16
2012

Include a plan to become a sex-wise parent in your schedule for the next school year

As many of us are enjoying our summer schedule or looking forward to our vacation, some folks are deeply into their plans for the 2012-2013 school year.  After the horror of the Summer of Sandusky it’s my hope that  program planners for schools, congregations and social and civic organizations throughout this country will take a good hard look at what they are doing to help keep kids and families sexually safe and healthy.   I want to […]

Jul
10
2012

The double-edged sword of forgiveness

If I ever doubted the number of people who were sexually abused as a child, promoting my book, The Sex-Wise Parent has brought me right back to sad reality.  I have yet to leave an event without at least one survivor sharing his or her story.  Many have a lesson that I feel compelled to share and last week’s lesson was about the double edged sword of forgiveness. A woman approached me to speak after […]

Jun
23
2012

It’s time to ask your children if they understand what the Sandusky case was about.

Just ask that question and listen quietly to the reply. An adolescent may challenge you by demanding to know why you want to know. Answer calmly, sharing that this case focused on the ugliest possible aspect of sex and you want to be sure they have the whole picture. Expect a younger child to reply with a shockingly incorrect understanding of sexual abuse; offer a gentle correction and consider a simpler version of the same […]

Jun
16
2012

Honor the uncounted victims of sex abuse with action

Everyone knows someone whose life has been touched by sexual victimization. Look at the published numbers—different studies suggest 70,000 kids each year, others suggest 90,000 kids each year, some say one out of 4 kids; others, one out of 6. Regardless of the source, the number of affected children is huge. These findings have become the rallying cries of advocates, and many professionals remind us that these reports are only the tip of the iceberg. […]

Jun
13
2012

Lesson from day 2 of the Sandusky trial: One victim wept, the other deadly calm

The most cunning predators choose a victim who can’t speak up.  The drug dealer robs a junkie who can’t call the cops; the hooker robs the john who doesn’t want to be caught. These scenarios describe victims who put themselves in precarious positions; they took a risk and  lost.  The only risk a child victim of a pedophile took was to accept the friendship of an adult and they find themselves  forced into a devastating silence […]

Jun
12
2012

Today’s lesson from the Sandusky trial: How to ‘groom’ an entire community

Last night, I joined a community of adult survivors of abuse as a guest on Bill Murrays blog talk radio show   sponsored by the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse.  After presenting the point of view of the Sex-Wise Parent , I turned the tables and asked the panel of experts to share how the current and constant coverage of the Sandusky trail was affecting them. ” Watching the Sandusky case on the […]

Jun
8
2012

Mandatory Reporting….. Mandatory Prevention??

Penn State announced today  that they now require all employees to report suspected child abuse to state authorities.   Many advocates will express raging ambivalence that this is too little too late, and there is some truth to that.  But consider the fact that Pennsylvania laws specify one of the most limited groups of mandated reporters of suspected child abuse of any state in the country.  The only people required by Pennsylvania law to report  suspected […]

May
31
2012

Use the news!

Imagine the drive to soccer practice; no sooner do you get your child to remove the earphones which seem permanently implanted in their ears then the radio announces the latest development in the clergy scandal or Sandusky case. Great, just what you had in mind! But please, resist the urge to pretend you didn’t the newscaster. Take a deep breath, turn off the radio and ask your child their thoughts about what you just heard. […]

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